Suicide prevention.

I came across a blog post that said October was National Suicide Prevention Month, then another one that said it was September.  I didn’t do a lot of research on the subject, because every day should be National Suicide Prevention Day.

I’m a suicide survivor.  Four years ago, I died… but my timing was off and I became a successful recipient of CPR.  It’s long ugly story that I’ve chronicled on another anonymous blog.  Maybe some day I’ll feel secure enough to share it, out in the open, I don’t know.

I’ve gone through periods of depression since the suicide, it’s part of my DNA now and I never responded favorably to medications, so I deal with it.

The thing that I’d like others to take away from my suicide is to PAY ATTENTION.  Pay attention to the people that you love.  If they are becoming withdrawn, if their appearance is changing and not for the better, if they seem to have no joy, if they are struggling with chronic headaches or GI issues, if something JUST DOESN’T SEEM RIGHT.


Don’t just watch them circle the drain.  Don’t say “I’ll call her tomorrow”.  Don’t think “Everyone has blue days”.

If someone is serious about suicide, they will not reach out, they can’t, their mind is filled every single day with the thoughts that they should die.  I’m sure that it crosses everyone’s mind at some point; I believe that’s part of being human.  But for the suicidal, it’s an all consuming thought, permeating everything that they think and do.

I do remember, at one point, my thoughts frightened me, so I called a psychiatrist to make an appointment, I had to leave a voice mail and no one ever called me back.  In my mind that was some sort of a sick sign that I heeded.  Do I blame them for not calling me back? No, but they really should be more diligent.

I won’t write a diatribe about how I think mental health is the biggest crisis that our country is facing right now, but I’d like for everyone to think about it…

I still have issues with my own family and the subject of my suicide.  They’d prefer not to talk about it, act like it didn’t happen and they seem resentful when I mention my Rebirthday… it makes it harder to deal with… don’t do that to anyone.

What is the point of this post?

Don’t wait until it’s too late… if you see someone struggling, throw them a lifeline.