Tag Archive: photography


I’ve Discovered My Price…

Early this morning I received and email from The Boy That Broke My Heart (TBTBMH).  It was just a link to a song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk.

Nothing else, no other words, just the link.

I cried, I listened to it a couple of times, then went back to sleep.

What is this? Sincerity? An apology? A mind fuck?

I sent a very brief reply.  I cannot pursue him… but truth be told I want him, I want him back, I want him back right fucking now.

I honestly don’t know which of us is more fucked up… he is distant and introverted, I am obsessive and extroverted.

But, I swear, the way I felt when I was with him made it all worth it.

What do I do now?

FIRST, stop obsessing… HA!  I am not going to contact him; the ball is completely in his court.

DON’T LET ME CONTACT HIM.

SECOND, I’m not getting my hopes up.  He could have been having a moment.

THIRD, I’m taking a dating break.  Not because of TBTBMH, but because the more I date, the more I think that I’m dead inside… and I don’t want to feel that way.

Saturday, I drove over 200 miles for some photographic opportunities that were promised me by a man that I know.

TWO HUNDRED FUCKING MILES.

And guess what??  He did not deliver.  BUT, wanted me to spend the night…

I was mad and went home, even though I had enough driving to do me for the weekend.

Speaking of photography, I’ve sold a couple of prints and am booking a senior portrait photo session…

AND I’ve been offered some ridiculous money to shoot an… ummmm… well… an orgy.

I’m a single girl and I could seriously use the $$.  I know the couple that has initiated this, I know the things that they are into but I’m not completely sure that I know what I could be getting myself into.  If nothing else, it could make for a crazy interesting blog post, right???

And, apparently, I can be bought!!  Or rented anyway.

Once in a while, all the stars line up and a person is actually lucky enough to witness Karma in action.

 

I was this lucky person last night.  I have to say that it made me absolutely giddy with pleasure.

 

First, the backstory…

 

A few months ago, I met a guy (online).  We knew several of the same people, had been at events at the same time, etc, etc… but had never met.  So we start chatting, texting, phone calls…

 

Then we have a date.

 

It seemed great; we laughed, ate and drank (probably my critical mistake).  Ended up leaving the bar and returning to my place.

 

Hey, don’t judge, it had been a while.

 

So… bow-chica-wow-wow… He leaves and I crashed hard.

 

I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.

 

Not even a “Fuck you, kiss my ass”.

 

I chalked it up to my own stupidity, erased him from my life and moved on.

 

Now, fast forward to yesterday.

 

I was signed up to do a photography MeetUp, I get alerts for the people that were signing up, bowing out, etc…

 

Guess who I see signs up??

 

Yup, Mr.Douchebag Fraidy Cat.

 

My first thought was “I bet I’ll be the last person he expects to see!”

 

I know he saw me… he went off with another group and I went on my merry way… I am not generally confrontational.

 

So a little later in the evening, I head to the area behind a fountain, to capture an image of the bridge through the water.  I didn’t notice that he was behind the fountain next to me and his camera bag was right behind me.

So, as I’m fooling around with my camera and tripod, he walks over, I turn, realize it’s him and I say “Hi” (I am the bigger person) and he says “Hi” back, clearly uncomfortable, he grabs his camera bag to make a quick retreat.

 

When he picks up the bag, the contents tumble out onto the pavement… really nice camera lens included.

 

He picks up the lens, shakes it near his ear, then looking very sad… he walks away.

 

How you like that mutherfucker???  Karma can be a bitch… now, eat your shit sandwich and quit being such a fuckweasel.

What Started it All…

The image that started it all with The Intense One... Pretty cool, right?

The image that started it all with The Intense One…
Pretty cool, right?

Refocus…

I am taking a break from meeting anyone new right now.

I’m just going to work with what I’ve got, I’ve hidden my profiles or disabled them (of course that is assuming that they were ABLE to begin with haha, which I don’t think they were).

I need to focus on my fiction, my photography, my charitable organization and ME.

Maybe I’ll focus on being pretty? Or attempting to?  Let’s see how this works out…

sigh… it’s been a rough week here in my head.

me 5

Here is a sample of some of my work…

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nikki

morning 4

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dandy

Personality for Sale…

This morning, my horoscope told me to make a list of the things that I do well… take inventory, so to speak.

I am not good at bragging… I know, I know, it’s not bragging if it’s true. However, being overly focused on your own faults for a lifetime makes it difficult to sell oneself, even if it is, only, to the universe.

So bear with me…

The List of TrippyB’s Excellence:

1. Good friend. I may have sucked as a wife, a girl friend, at times as an employee and various other roles I’ve played in my life, but I am a great friend. If you are my friend, I will always be there for you, I will defend you (even if you’re kinda wrong) and I will take your secrets to my grave.
2. I’m a good amateur photographer. I even had one of my photos chosen for “Photo of the Day” at http://www.capturecincinnati.com
3. I’m empathetic… which I think is a rare quality these days.
4. I can cook the fuck out of some meatloaf, jalapeno mac-n-cheese and sour cream mashed potatoes… and various other things.
5. I have a great imagination.
6. I have a witty (most of the time) personality.
7. I’ve written some decent fiction.
8. My kisses are mind-blowing (there’s no shame in my game).
9. I don’t lie, even when I really, really want to.

The horoscope also said to include a list of things that I don’t do so well, but not to be overly critical of myself.

So, here goes:

1. I procrastinate. (I should just do this list later).
2. I’m not great with money.
3. I like booze… A LOT. (But I still manage to get all my grown up stuff done).
4. I tend to run away when things get a little rough in a relationship (consciously working on this one).
5. I swear excessively.

So, that’s the short list. I’m not really sure what this little endeavor was supposed to accomplish, other than making me feel awkward about myself, which incidentally is another thing that I’m good at.

Can you quantify your own list of pros and cons???

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