Early this morning I received and email from The Boy That Broke My Heart (TBTBMH).  It was just a link to a song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuzDghzyVjk.

Nothing else, no other words, just the link.

I cried, I listened to it a couple of times, then went back to sleep.

What is this? Sincerity? An apology? A mind fuck?

I sent a very brief reply.  I cannot pursue him… but truth be told I want him, I want him back, I want him back right fucking now.

I honestly don’t know which of us is more fucked up… he is distant and introverted, I am obsessive and extroverted.

But, I swear, the way I felt when I was with him made it all worth it.

What do I do now?

FIRST, stop obsessing… HA!  I am not going to contact him; the ball is completely in his court.


SECOND, I’m not getting my hopes up.  He could have been having a moment.

THIRD, I’m taking a dating break.  Not because of TBTBMH, but because the more I date, the more I think that I’m dead inside… and I don’t want to feel that way.

Saturday, I drove over 200 miles for some photographic opportunities that were promised me by a man that I know.


And guess what??  He did not deliver.  BUT, wanted me to spend the night…

I was mad and went home, even though I had enough driving to do me for the weekend.

Speaking of photography, I’ve sold a couple of prints and am booking a senior portrait photo session…

AND I’ve been offered some ridiculous money to shoot an… ummmm… well… an orgy.

I’m a single girl and I could seriously use the $$.  I know the couple that has initiated this, I know the things that they are into but I’m not completely sure that I know what I could be getting myself into.  If nothing else, it could make for a crazy interesting blog post, right???

And, apparently, I can be bought!!  Or rented anyway.