The Miserable Case of the Bipolar Bear

Guys who call themselves HOTT.

In my opinion they fall into one of two categories.

1. NOT HOtt at all.
2. Looks good on the outside, but , in actuality, a total sack of shit.

Guys that look good and call themselves HOTT are like an éclair… Looks so delicious until you bite into it and it’s filled with gag inducing cream.

I turned a guy down last night… a guy who was only too happy to talk about his career as an attorney, his “lifestyle” that I’d LOVE and the fact that he was too HOTT to be on a dating site.

First of all… HE WAS NOT HOTT… Not even a little bit… and he was a smarmy, creepy, douchey, asshat.

After I bid him goodbye, he sent me over 50 text messages… that ran the gamut between begging me to come back, telling me that I’m ugly, to saying that he was calling an Asian hooker and he was going to send me video of their activities (this was the point when I blocked him, thank you iOS 7).

Here’s an example of a text:

This was followed by texts stating that my tattoos were ugly, followed by pleading to come “snuggle” with him…

This guy was not only a fuckweasel, but also a bipolar bear…

I’M SO DONE…

Mirror, Mirror…

“You are extremely sexy- it’s your superpower – use it for good.”

This from a man that I had a fling with about a year ago, a sexy older man… who was going through a divorce… we were so not in the same place.  But, it was ok; it was really what we both needed at the time, neither of us had any delusions that it was more than it was.

He reached out to me after reading some of my stuff…

Wouldn’t it be nice to see yourself through the eyes of someone else??  Obviously, not someone that hates you or thinks that you’re a fuckweasel, but someone who thinks good things about you.

I’d like to look in the mirror and not see ugly and lame… I’d love to see the funny, artsy chick that some people think I am… I’d love to see sexy or, just for a minute, beautiful.

Who are the people that can see themselves for what they truly are?  Do these people even exist (that aren’t raging narcissists)?

I tried for a while, to enumerate some things that I didn’t think were bad about myself, tell myself every morning that I’m good enough, that I’m worthy…

It was an exercise in futility.

I’m thinking about getting hypnotized…  it’s worth a shot, right?????

I fear that if I used sexiness as a superpower, I’d just destroy cities and shit… I mean, how could I resist???

Thanks Karma, For Not Working AGAINST Me!

Once in a while, all the stars line up and a person is actually lucky enough to witness Karma in action.

 

I was this lucky person last night.  I have to say that it made me absolutely giddy with pleasure.

 

First, the backstory…

 

A few months ago, I met a guy (online).  We knew several of the same people, had been at events at the same time, etc, etc… but had never met.  So we start chatting, texting, phone calls…

 

Then we have a date.

 

It seemed great; we laughed, ate and drank (probably my critical mistake).  Ended up leaving the bar and returning to my place.

 

Hey, don’t judge, it had been a while.

 

So… bow-chica-wow-wow… He leaves and I crashed hard.

 

I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.

 

Not even a “Fuck you, kiss my ass”.

 

I chalked it up to my own stupidity, erased him from my life and moved on.

 

Now, fast forward to yesterday.

 

I was signed up to do a photography MeetUp, I get alerts for the people that were signing up, bowing out, etc…

 

Guess who I see signs up??

 

Yup, Mr.Douchebag Fraidy Cat.

 

My first thought was “I bet I’ll be the last person he expects to see!”

 

I know he saw me… he went off with another group and I went on my merry way… I am not generally confrontational.

 

So a little later in the evening, I head to the area behind a fountain, to capture an image of the bridge through the water.  I didn’t notice that he was behind the fountain next to me and his camera bag was right behind me.

So, as I’m fooling around with my camera and tripod, he walks over, I turn, realize it’s him and I say “Hi” (I am the bigger person) and he says “Hi” back, clearly uncomfortable, he grabs his camera bag to make a quick retreat.

 

When he picks up the bag, the contents tumble out onto the pavement… really nice camera lens included.

 

He picks up the lens, shakes it near his ear, then looking very sad… he walks away.

 

How you like that mutherfucker???  Karma can be a bitch… now, eat your shit sandwich and quit being such a fuckweasel.