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All Because of a Bunch of Nurses

Being inspired by a fellow blogger, I will endeavor to tell a couple of interesting stories from my life…

I’ve always kind of been a party girl.  In my high school days, wherever there was booze, weed and boys, I was there.  Yet, I still managed to graduate with honors, not get in trouble with the law or get pregnant.

But this was after I had grown up a little bit, graduated from nursing school and traveled to the largest city in my state to take my State Board examination.

There was a group of approximately 10 of us and we stayed at the most awesomely 70stastic hotel I had even been in (and it was long past the 70s) complete with orange shag carpet and green wall paper… it was glorious!!

We had decided to stay an extra night after our examinations were over, to celebrate.

We dressed up and headed down to the hotel bar, not wanting to have to worry about getting lost, cabs, etc not being too familiar with the area.

When we arrived at the bar it was pretty deserted and the vibe in the bar had just as strong of a 70s vibe as the rooms did, I loved it!  We pushed some tables together, sat down and ordered drinks.

At some point the cocktails turned into blow jobs (the shots, get your mind out of the gutter) and we were successfully doing them without hands.

After we were a few drinks in, The Carpenters came in to play for us.  Not really the Carpenters of course, but that’s what we called them, they were pretty terrible.  The waitress was dubbed Betty Sue, I’m sure she hated us and she had plenty of reason to.

As we were drinking and doing shots, we noticed the bar filling up with MEN, just MEN.  Man after man after man kept coming through the door.  And they were fucking good looking men and we were a table of 20-something nurses, already half lit.  So, of course they gravitated toward our table.

It turned out that there was a convention at the hotel of FIREFIGHTERS AND PARAMEDICS.  Oh yes my friends, you read that right.  There were firefighters and paramedics there from all over the world, with cameras and video cameras.  I distinctly recall one convention attendee videotaping the festivities and we all simultaneously shouting “WE’RE NURSES”… he was from Norway or someplace, I’m sure he seriously hoped he wouldn’t end up in an American hospital.

When I drink, I get ridiculous.  Ridiculously friendly and gregarious, I’m a happy drunk.

I became bored with the musical selections of the Carpenters, so I began singing a rousing, hillbilly-esque version of “You Shook Me All Night Long”.

Here’s something that I didn’t know about “You Shook Me All Night Long”, EVERYONE knows the lyrics!! So once I started, the hot guys took it up and soon we drowned out the Carpenters, I shot them a cheeky smile as they threw imaginary daggers at me.  IT WAS AWESOME.

Copious shots flowed over our table, the more we did, the more aggressive we became with the shot glasses, and several may have been broken, along with a few ashtrays…

I may have kissed a few boys that night; I wish I could remember their faces.

At the end of the evening, one of the girls in our group had only had one or two drinks (that was so not me) and she took our bar tab, did the calculations and gathered our money.  Now remember, I from a rural area, some people are very sheltered from the realities of the world, this light drinker was one… but I didn’t know how naïve (or stupid she truly was).

After the bar closed and nearly threw us out we made the long walk back to our rooms, accompanied by some hot guys…  There were some hot kisses in the hallway before we retired to our rooms.

Once we were alone in our rooms, still giggling about the events of the evening, Ms. Naïve says “Don’t worry about that waitress, I took care of her”.

I replied “That’s good, she deserved it.”

Ms. Naïve says “Yea, I tipped her $5”.


Suddenly sober from the massive shame I felt, I jumped into my shoes, grabbed my purse and sprinted back to the bar, which I discovered was locked up tighter than Ft.Knox.

I felt like such an asshole.  Nurses probably do not have a good reputation in that hotel, all because of us.

I told you recently that I had rejoined the online dating world. At this point, I am not completely sure why.  I am chatting with a couple of guys, one seems WAY TOO EAGER to meet me, I’m not sure how to deal with this.  Am I just what he’s been looking for? OR… is he fucking crazy?  It’s impossible to know until you’ve met.  Am I going to meet him?  I’m not sure yet.

Last night, I get this message:

20131006-184841.jpg Grandpa Sid wants me to sit on his lap…Shivers…

One of my friends (you know who you are) got WAAAAYYYY too much enjoyment out of this.

If you look closely at the photo, Grandpa Sid appears to have a hard-on… I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I also get this totally romantic message, from a child:

20131006-185020.jpg I will never understand this methodology, maybe I’m just a prude??

Apparently my phone is feeling my pain, understanding my desire to get laid.  When updating my Facebook status using talk-to-text it mis-interpreted “bracken county”. Glad I checked it before I posted, my family would have really been impressed!!!


If I’m going to be honest, I am perpetually in “fucking horny”, no trip necessary!!

AND lastly, yesterday I went on a Scott Kelby Worldwide Photo Walk.  There was not one single guy in the group… Traditional dating, my fucking ass… I can NEVER meet anyone.

Anyway, here’s a post from the walk…

Me to a work friend:  “Did you have fun on your day off?”

Friend: “You mean at my grandma’s funeral?”

Yes, I am that girl.

So… last night I had another particularly bad night, tears, self-pity, self-loathing and all around patheticness.

Before my Benadryl kicked in, I asked the universe to show me a sign, a sign that I won’t be alone forever, that I don’t suck.

This morning when I wake up, I have a friend request on Facebook, from a cute guy.  I think “what the hell” and I accept it. 

He messaged me and told me that he had seen a comment that I made on our city news page and he thought I was cute :-).  We’ve been chatting all morning…

I even told him about my request to the universe, he thought that it was cool.

Who knows what will happen, but maybe the universe was listening and was sick of my blathering.

Well… Irish guy wanted me to come to his place tonight, because he has his daughter… I had to pass on that.  I try to always do first meets in public, so we are rescheduling for next Saturday unless I can’t resist any longer.

My date tomorrow night is taking me to the 360 Restaurant ( the revolving restaurant that I’ve NEVER been to! I asked if he cared if I brought a camera, he is totally cool with it.

Friday night, I am participating in my first wedding.  I am an ordained minister, but have yet to perform a wedding.  My friend, BE, is also a minister and has started “Godless Weddings”.  I am going to watch him perform a ceremony at EdenPark, so I can get a handle on how things work.  I told him I’d also bring my camera, to which he replied “I was hoping that you would”.  So I will be the witness and the photographer.

BE is atheist and I’m agnostic, so this little endeavor makes sense, I’m excited about it… love doing something new.

When my fellow crazy girls out there start getting married… lemme know!!! We will perform a kick-ass ceremony!!!

Let me perform your wedding!!!

Let me perform your wedding!!!

Ok, I decided I am NOT having drinks with the ex.. that would only go one of two ways, neither of which would be good.

But, I did reactivate my OkCupid profile… I need some attention.  I’ve gotten about 10 messages in 2 hours.  Who knows if I’ll ever meet any of them, but I am not completely ruling it out.

I’ll probably start freaking out by tomorrow and deactivate my account again, but maybe not, I should suck it up until I meet THE ONE… right?? hahaha, yea right…

Maybe something will work out… the guy that wants to “try” and give me what I need, he just started a new job but suggested we go out this weekend… he will be known as BD from here on out.

I’m not ruling out BD, he’s adorable and we had some chemistry and he never did anything that made me think he’s a total fuckweasel.

Maybe OKC will bring Mr.Right to my email box, and maybe I won’t be too pessimistic to realize that it’s him…

It could totally happen, right?

If nothing else, maybe I’ll get some interesting stories.  I have decided that if things don’t turn around this week, I’m going to say yes to every date I’m asked on for the next month.  That should not be a total fucking disaster at all.

me 9

Can I Go Home Again??

I get to go back home this weekend for a family event.  Two hours southeast, but a world away.  I have an awesome family, I don’t see them too often, we keep in touch on Facebook.

I’m sure that I’ll get asked (repeatedly) “Are you dating anyone?”

And I’ll shake my head no… they’ll look at me with pity and uncomfortably walk away.  It’s so sad for a girl to be all alone in the big world, she’s so PITIFUL.  They may not be wrong.

But, I am the “fun cousin” everyone says they want to come north and hang out with me… but they never do. 

I’m the weirdo that just today found out I’m supposed to take a cake… but it’s under control, now.  I’d rather take booze, I’m much better at that, but that wouldn’t be acceptable to part of the crowd that will be there.

I’ll be entertained by all of the old ladies giving me the stink-eye… more than one tattoo is somewhat of a novelty back home, and everyone knows that makes you a lose woman!!!

It could be like past family events where a select few of us would slip off behind the barn and drink beers and talk to Elvis… but I don’t think the cool ones will be traveling in to town… boo, hiss.

This week my Mom says “Guess who called your Dad the other day?”

I knew immediately, it was my ex-bf, M, who had a man-crush on my Dad. 

M, with the psycho fiancé that sent me the hate mail.

“He wants to come down and visit your Dad, is that okay with you?”

“I don’t care; it really makes no difference to me.”  I mean, it’s not like I live there or I’ll be there or anything, who am I to tell anyone what they can and cannot do? Not my style really (unless you’re trying to horn in on my favorite bar, then I might throw down).

I really wonder how the fiancé likes that… “Hey honey, I’m going down to hang out with my ex-gf’s awesome family, which your family sucks in comparison to.”  Heehee…

Tomorrow night, I’m volunteering at Beerfest!!! Where I will receive; a t-shirt, parking reimbursement, a cup, a “casual” dinner and LIBATIONS! I wonder what kind of limit there is on the libations???? I will be finding out!!!


Oh… fellow crazy girls… do you know how hard it is to get ahold of a train?!?!?!



Type Of Women Men Fall For « ENERGY 103.7.

I am so screwed… who has a mom that looks like me for fuck’s sake???

Ink and the Fuzz

I try very hard not to judge someone based on their appearance.  When I catch myself doing it, I very firmly scold myself, and will sometimes rap myself across the knuckles with a ruler.

As much as I hate it, I know that, at times, I judge.  We all do.  I suppose that it is human nature.
But as we become a more culturally diverse society, our exposure to people that don’t look like us should make us more accepting.
From the time that we are young children, we are taught to not judge books by their covers.
It is not acceptable to judge people by the color of their skin.
Unless their skin is colored with ink.  Then it is perfectly acceptable to discriminate.
I can’t say that I’ve experienced any true discrimination, but people have perceptions about me that aren’t accurate.  The predominate perception is that women with tattoos are promiscuous.  I am not sure if that is a true belief, or just wishful thinking.  I am sure that there are promiscuous tattooed women out there…. I’d venture to guess that statistically, there are more promiscuous NON-tattooed women. There are good and bad people in every color, whether natural or inked.
Most every single asshole I’ve ever met, wasn’t tattooed.  All of my tattooed friends are super cool and laid back.  So what does that say about tattooed people? Nothing really, just that I am pretty good at choosing my friends.  But, that, could, in fact, say that tattooed people are good at choosing friends!!
But we can’t judge an entire population of people’s ability to choose friends based on my superior friend choosing skills, can we??
So all this thinking has led me to look into policies regarding tattoos, mainly  police policies.
 It seems that most of these agencies have rules and regulations regarding ink.  And as tattoos seem to become more popular, the ones without rules regarding ink, are drafting some.
There are numerous threads out there on the issue of police with tattoos.  I’ve seen many thoughtful responses.  Yet, many more ignorant closed minded ones.
Like this:
“Professional standards are slowly becoming a thing of the past. There was a time in this country when people employed in certain professions, didn’t have to be told to dress a certain way (they had class and common sense) and the people who looked like trash usually were. I don’t respect anyone who looks like a street thug. Sorry… and I know I’m not alone in that thought process.  I work in upper level management and I will not hire anyone who sports visible tattoos. They are a symbol of the lower class and vulgar.  Period.”
I feel sorry for this person’s employees….. I’m sure they are prejudice against more than tattooed people, with that attitude.

Since it is no longer acceptable to openly discriminate based on a person’s race, I believe that there are people out there that aren’t happy unless they can find someone to hate.  So guess what?? People that are tattooed or modified are the perfect target!
But back to police officers with tattoos…..
Many agencies are requiring that officers with tattoos that are visible in their uniforms, must cover them by wearing long sleeves or special arm socks to cover their tattoos.  And it doesn’t matter what their tattoos are.  They could be service related and it doesn’t matter.
While officers often wear long sleeved uniforms, this is not so good for an officer in Arizona in the middle of summer.  Seems like it would create a hostile working environment (for me, I hate to sweat) and throw on some body armor…. HOLY HELL.  It seems especially unfair for the officers who have been working, unsleeved prior to the new regulations.
I can see where this is a difficult topic for those in charge.  Some agencies only ban “offensive” tattoos or those with gang or hate affiliations.  Who is the ultimate judge in these matters?  Doesn’t that set them up for some liability?  No one wants that.  Take responsibility?? Fuck that!
I can totally understand not wanting an officer with a swastika on his neck, or gang symbols…. That would be counterproductive to keeping the peace.

Are a majority of people really intimidated by a police officer with a beautiful sleeve?  I mean, let’s face it, there are still people that are intimidated by an afro-American officer, and we don’t let their archaic way of thinking dictate police policy.  Why let them influence policy on tattooed police officers??

How do you feel about tattooed police officers?

I have been back out in the dating world for about 3 years now.  When I began this dating journey, I had 2 small tattoos.

Now I am up to 12 tattoos.  Tattoos on my wrists that are visible all of the time, tattoos on my foot, arms, shoulders and back that are visible depending on how I dress.
I am still the same girl I was, for the most part, when I only had 2 tattoos.  But in the online dating world, my tattoos give some men ideas about me that may not be accurate.
I can’t tell you how many emails start out like this “I love your tats!” I try not to read over those messages too quickly, or I could mistake “tats” for something else.  But sadly, I have gotten many emails that were more blatantly suggestive than complementing a body part.
One gentleman (I use this term in jest) sent me an email saying this “I want to fuck you”.  Usually when I get this sort of email, I delete it and move on with my life.  But before I hit the delete button, I decided to write back.  Usually, writing back to guys like this is a bad idea.  It makes them think that you are interested, but just acting coy.  But I had a question for this fellow that I just had to ask.
“Does this ever work?”
He promptly wrote back “Sometimes it does.”
I ended the correspondence at the point.  But I had to think that this guy was using the shot gun method for hooking up.  I wondered how many girls he had emailed with the “I want to fuck you” line?? All it would take is for one to say “Ok” and all of the “Nos” and deleted messages would be worth it.
I no longer felt special.
In my online profile, I have several photos that my tattoos are prominent in.  They are a big part of who I am.  If you want me, you must accept my tattoos.
I received an email from a man saying that he thought I was cute, that he thought we’d be a good match, but would I consider having my tattoos removed?
WTF????  I found that as offensive as him asking me if I’d have a nose job.  I wrote him back this line “I am not your girl.”
I get other messages like this “I love your tattoos; you look like a wild child.”  Of course this idea harkens to the stereotypes that still exist about people with tattoos.  All you have to do is Google “tattoos and risky behavior” and one would believe that people with tattoos are out there boozing, druggin and screwin everything in sight.
Some people with tattoos do participate in extreme behaviors, but so do non-tattooed people.  Most of the people I’ve known in my life that had problems with drugs or alcohol weren’t tattooed.
While I love my tattoos, I haven’t really dated many men that were tattooed.  It’s not a prerequisite for my men at all.  I am tattooed, but I don’t care if you are or not.  It’s a personal choice, which I would never try to influence.  Now, if you’ve decided that you want a tattoo, I will definitely help you find a good artist.
I get a lot of emails from guys, basically apologizing for not having any tattoos.  Which seems too needy for me, I just say that tattoos are not for everyone, I don’t judge based on your lack of ink, just as you shouldn’t judge me for the ink I possess.
I had one guy, which I formerly dated; say after reading my blog “I don’t see anything wrong with a man with no tattoos.”
I replied that I don’t see anything wrong with a man who has no tattoos either, ink or lack of ink doesn’t define a person.
I am much more than my tattoos.  This blog only represents a portion of who I am.
Well….. I must be off! I have mail!!!
 tattoo glasses
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