Did You Miss Me??

I haven’t been here in a while… I haven’t really felt inspired to bore anyone with the details of my life.  The details haven’t been worthy of writing about anyway.

I survived Christmas.  I guess that’s a victory.  I can’t say that I wanted to, survive that is.  I’ve made a few promises to friends that if I ever feel suicidal I’ll talk to them.

Was I sincere when I made the promise? No.

I just wanted to make them feel better and promising was the easy way to move on.

That being said, I’m kinda big on promises.  I try my damnedest not to break them.

Lying in my bed on Christmas Eve, I flirted with my contingency plan, but thoughts of the promises kept surfacing, making their way up through the ocean of vodka I was trying to drown my feelings in.

First of all, would I call any of my friends on Christmas Eve (when they are happily celebrating with their friends and family) and tell them that I’m feeling suicidal?

Uuuuummmm fuck no.  I’m not a complete fuckweasel.

And offing yourself at Christmas is just too pathetic and cliché.

So I just got drunk.  I know, my coping powers are pretty goddamn amazing.

I also got a tattoo and my hair isn’t red anymore… my mental condition can be measured by my tattoos and hair color changes… like some weird dysfunctional barometer.  It’s ok though, I love the new tattoo and the hair doesn’t look awful.

I, honestly, think that I can thank (or blame) the camera for helping me survive 2013.

Last week someone asked why I choose the subjects that I do for my photography (abandonments, specifically)… I can relate to them… they’re rejected, unloved, forgotten, ignored, not as pretty as they used to be, no longer useful, haunted… just like me.  Maybe, together, the camera and I can save a little bit of these places, for posterity… and maybe, save me in the process??

I was asked “Why did you change your hair?”  My answer “I wanted to be someone different, maybe, eventually I’ll be someone that I like.”

It just occurred to me, that this time last year, I was in Georgia… seems like a lifetime ago…

And New Year’s Eve… fuck… I find it hard to get excited about a new year… I really wish that I could though.  It’s not like a have a dance card full of party invitations anyway… maybe I’ve been spending too much time in my hermit hole.

People say “You’ve got so many things to be happy about” and they’ll go so far as to enumerate them.  Perhaps in an attempt to guilt me out of depression… I mean, that’s a proven effective method, right?  But, I’m almost glad that people don’t understand… it means they haven’t lived it.

The Miserable Case of the Bipolar Bear

Guys who call themselves HOTT.

In my opinion they fall into one of two categories.

1. NOT HOtt at all.
2. Looks good on the outside, but , in actuality, a total sack of shit.

Guys that look good and call themselves HOTT are like an éclair… Looks so delicious until you bite into it and it’s filled with gag inducing cream.

I turned a guy down last night… a guy who was only too happy to talk about his career as an attorney, his “lifestyle” that I’d LOVE and the fact that he was too HOTT to be on a dating site.

First of all… HE WAS NOT HOTT… Not even a little bit… and he was a smarmy, creepy, douchey, asshat.

After I bid him goodbye, he sent me over 50 text messages… that ran the gamut between begging me to come back, telling me that I’m ugly, to saying that he was calling an Asian hooker and he was going to send me video of their activities (this was the point when I blocked him, thank you iOS 7).

Here’s an example of a text:

This was followed by texts stating that my tattoos were ugly, followed by pleading to come “snuggle” with him…

This guy was not only a fuckweasel, but also a bipolar bear…

I’M SO DONE…

You’re Killing Me OKC…

OKC… why is this happening???

Shouldn’t he just have said “I hate your ink, but I still think you’re fuckable”?

Is it wrong that I’m not flattered or ready to jump in the sack with him??

So I reply with “SO… you hate my ink, but think I’m fuckable?”

And I get this…

I’m so out I should be in Siberia…

You Gotta Read This…

I spent a weekend with only my own company and that of a texting friend (you know who you are) and it wasn’t awful.  I had the camera out and I enjoyed my own company… it’s a fucking good thing that I enjoy it, it seems that not many others do.

I got a few decent photos, so it was worthwhile.

I got creeped on in the ghetto Kroger, I guess I’ll stop going there.

“Hey girl, your tattoos look good… is your man here?”

To which I replied “Thank you, he’s in the car.”

Gotta hand it to the guy, there was no shame in his game.  That never happens in the suburban Kroger.

Anyway, when going through some of my files, I have TONS of files, I came across this copy of a message that I had gotten on the dating site a couple of months ago.

It was interesting, and he OBVIOUSLY read my profile (which we all know is unusual), even though he thought that there was a chance that I’m a fatty, he was still willing to give me a pass on it.

I actually did chat with him for a while, but I really felt no attraction for him at all.  He did seem genuine about the whole dream thing, and if he wasn’t, it was pretty clever.

Wow! Did youwrite that for me becuase it has me all over it! And I have never said that on this site which is the only site I’m on.

Normally I wouldn’t ramble on but you gotta read this!

My freinds and fam would say I’m anything but normal (although I have become somewhat normalized through the years – maybe you could help me get back to being my quirky self again :).

Skinny, blond, and tan seem to also be dizzy and stuck on themselves – been there done that – good luck to them ha ha.

I love tats,just not on me. My dtr has a couple. I used to rock the bar quite often, not so much anymore. Been there done that too (and still do on occasion. When I do it’s local dives “where everybody knows your name”.

Absolutely love adventure, specially nature, locally, and with the right companion, mountains, beaches, architectural wonders and landmarks, you bring the camera, just sayin.

Defiinetly believe in the paranormal, went to a couple seyonces (I know the spelling is wrong ha ha) when I was younger.

I love a wide variety of music, favs are classic rock, blues, and old country, you can throw in a couple raps also ( goina rob a jewelry store and tell em make me a grill). Have you seen Sonny Morman here locally, best local blues rock musician.

I want, I need a fun, smart adventurous girl. For God sakes I miss intelligent conversation ha ha.

I adore country gals!

SRV forever!

Your a Leo, I’m a Leo, awesome! You’re probably opinionated and not afraid to speak your mind. Great! Except in one respect –  I definitely want a girl that likes me being the dominant btw…
I’ll lead the way to beautiful scenery and you take the pics, or redirect me if you feel the need :).

I love my 1000 thead count sheets :).

Always sing to the radio – lookout ha ha. Even karoke from time to time (double lookout LMAO).

Now for the really weird sh**. I had a dream and woke up from it and checked my POF. The dream was about a girl that looked like you. No Sh**. Didn’t look like anyu girl I know or have seen recently, until you came up in my searches. I’m not bs’ing you!

I woke up at 4:30, and checked POF which I never do, at least not at 4:30 in the frikin morning! There you were!

Which is why I had to send this too you.

It has now been over an hour since I started writing you and I gotta get ready to go to a meeting. I’m in Worcester, MA now and after the meeting have to drive to Conneticut and take the Ferry over to Long Island for another meeting. The last thing I needed to be doing was getting on POF. But, if you get this, and I mean get it, then it was worth it.

Ok, there are a couple differences, which to me is cool, not a zombie fan and I do believe in God. I’m mnot necessarily attracted to heavy women, your pics are confusing on that subject. I’m definitely attracted to you! My pics aren’t that great, specially the one with my face shoved up against the camera. Guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve dated younger than you and have never had any complaints, except that maybe I’m a little “trippy” :). I’m not exactly in or outa shape. Right now maybe more so outa than in but I always change that when it happens. Not looking for perfect, just something real and right for me and you.

And oh yeah, by the way, I know I’m older than you but that’s only a number. I love life and I’m full of it, so let’s see where this adventure takes us!

Call me, or text me, if you want give me your number and I’ll reach you. 513-xxx-xxxx.

Just a girl and her camera…

Quote of the Day

“You have a lot of tattoos; have you always had them?” said clueless coworker.

“I wasn’t born with them” said snarky TrippyB.

I really need to find a new career.

Yes, I’m a Snob…

I’ve been called a Beer Snob and a Music Snob in the last couple of weeks.  I am not offended, it’s true, I am what I am.  I do not think that either of these monikers affect my ability to find a suitable mate, or even an unsuitable one for that matter.

I carry these titles with a little bit of pride, however, I do not brag, it’s not my style.

But, what is hindering me from finding an unsuitable mate, is the fact that I’m a little bit of a grammar snob.

Come on, I know I’m not alone.  I see enough eCards bitching about their, there and they’re to know that it’s a weeding out process that MANY of us implement.

I don’t AUTOMATICALLY judge based on a silly spelling error, everyone does it.  Poor spelling isn’t necessarily an indication of a low IQ, so I’ve heard.  I mean, I WAY overuse the ellipses.  My editor was always happy to point that out, but I’m stubborn and I love the ellipses.  “We don’t need to know when the writer pauses to think” he would say.  I think that you do.

I do have to say that a lack of the ability to use spell-check does indicate either lack of intelligence, lack of seriousness, lack of a give-a-fuck or an “I’m above trying” attitude.  None of that inability draws me.  Call me a snob.

Here is the messaging that inspired this post:

Dating site email:

Do you have a lot in common which is cool I was going get a tattoo down below that said noddy by nature lol do you like your tattoos very sexy reading your profile seems like you had a great personality an funny love that

My reply:
Lol well if you decide to get that tattoo, I’d spell it NAUGHTY or people will assume you can’t hold your head up… And if it’s downstairs, they will doubt your ability to obtain an erection… Just a word to the wise.
Thanks for the compliments btw…

His reply:
Oh my god that is too funny I don’t think they would care what it said lol if the horse was playing lol I think they would just want to saddle up in ride

Draw your own conclusions…

Come on folks, learn to spell!!!

I’ll Have the Doc With the Full Sleeve, Please

As I make a follow-up appointment to see my rheumatologist, Dr.B, I began to reflect…

At the first visit, my diagnosis was still unconfirmed, but we were between lupus, dermatomyositis and the unknown. He did the obligatory physical, reviewed notes from my dermatologist and previous lab results. After the studying and his quizzing of me, he began to outline the game plan.

Medications were discussed and further testing.

“Since you have several tattoos, even though they look well done, we should really test you for hepatitis.” Dr.B said without looking up from my chart.

I just nodded my head. But in my mind, I’m thinking “I don’t have any hepatitis symptoms.” But I guess that’s prudent in his way of thinking…. Rule everything out.

I, of course, don’t have hepatitis. I only go to reputable shops that maintain sterile equipment and clean tattooing.

Which leads me to think about tattoos and healthcare.

I remember being in nursing school, I was rounding in OB and had a nurse that I was working under tell me this, when taking care of a patient with a few small tattoos “That girl has tattoos, make sure you double glove.” Funny how those little statements stick with you, even all these years later.

My former mother-in-law, a nurse, (I will refrain from calling her a psycho fucking bitch) made the statement more than once “If they have more than one tattoo, they are not worth saving” how I wish that nut job could see me now….. I don’t want you to save me you piece of shit….. what happened to people just being people? And we are all worth saving? Would you really want a nurse caring for you that had that attitude, even if you had NO tattoos?? I wouldn’t. Skill in your medical professional is extremely important (which really should go without saying) but skill without compassion, without seeing every patient as first a human being, is less than ideal.

We know that the prejudice exists against tattooed patients, how about tattooed medical professionals?

So, utilizing my extensive research methodology…. I Googled “Tattooed doctors”.

This image always comes up in such searches

http://www.inkedmag.com/inked-people/dr-dave/

Dr.Dave, I’d love to work for you, dude. This guy is fucking awesome.

Full sleeves on my doc? Yes, if you please. I dig it.

Now…… when perusing the list of items that came up in the search I came across many other results that weren’t so pleasant to me.

For example, this was on a thread on the College Confidential board entitled “Doctors with Tattoos”. The person that started the thread was asking a thoughtful question about whether or not they should get a wrist tattoo, with a poem, when they were on track to become a surgeon/researcher. A valid question for someone in school who has yet to be tattooed, it’s not a decision someone should jump into without giving it some thought.

Some of the replies were well thought out, considerate…… but others….. well I’ll let you judge for yourself….

“I would never go to a doctor with a tattoo.”

“I wouldn’t go to a doctor who has a tattoo. If I had a doctor and then found that s/he had a tattoo, I’d change doctors. To me, tattoos are evidence of a simple absence of judgment. They have no real benefit and serve to alienate a large portion of the population. If a prospective doctor has no better judgment than that, they’re not qualified to have me for a patient.”

“I am a doc, and I would hold a visible tattoo against someone in interviewing for med school admissions and for employment in my practice. Harsh but true. I think it shows a lack of judgment, and one can discriminate against those with tattoos – it is not a protected minority. Do Henna for the wrist, and think long and hard about permanent ink.” Notice how this person points out, indignantly, that one can discriminate against those with tattoos, it is not a protected minority. Classy.

In the end, the medical student that posted the query decided NOT to get the tattoo. While I fully support a person’s right to be, or not to be tattooed, I feel that he/she made the decision based on obtuse opinions, like those shown above.

But what are you gonna do?

Would patients really be offended by my tattooed wrists? My simple black Celtic knots? To me they are beautiful, empowering (i do hate that word) even. If I came into your hospital room, to give you care, give you comfort, in a skilled and compassionate manner, would you decline, simply because of the black ink on my wrist?

Look at these tattoo statistics:

Statistic Verification
Source: Pew Research Center, Tattoo Finder, Vanishing Tattoo
Date Verified: 3.23.2012

Statistic Verification
Source: Pew Research Center, Tattoo Finder, Vanishing Tattoo
Date Verified: 3.23.2012

Tattoo Statistics
Annual amount of U.S. spending on tattoos $1.65 Billion
Total percent of Americans (all ages) who have at least one tattoo 14 %
Percentage of U.S. adults 18 – 25 who have at least one tattoo 36 %
Percentage of U.S. adults 26 – 40 who have at least one tattoo 40 %
Total number of Americans that have at least one tattoo 45 million
Number of tattoo parlors in the U.S. 21,000
Average cost of a small tattoo $ 45
Average cost of a large tattoo $150 / hour
Percentage of U.S. population who have covered up a tattoo with another tattoo 5 %
Percentage of people with tattoos who claim they are addicted to ink 32 %
Percentage of people who have some regret after getting their tattoo 17 %
Percentage of people with a tattoo who are getting or have had one removed 11 %
Factors Considered When Getting A Tattoo
Percentage of people with tattoos who think the reputation of tattoo artist or tattoo studio is the most important factor 49 %
Percentage of people with tattoos who think price is the most important factor 8 %
Percentage of people with tattoos who think a tattoo with a personal meaning is the most important factor 43 %
How People Feel About Their Tattoo
Total percentage of people with tattoos who say their tattoo makes them feel rebellious 29 %
Percentage of people with a tattoo that say it makes them feel more sexy 31 %
Percentage of people with tattoos who say their tattoo makes them feel more intelligent 5 %

Statistic Verification
Source: Pew Research Center, Tattoo Finder, Vanishing Tattoo
Date Verified: 3.23.2012

With 45 million Americans having at least one tattoo, chances are, that at some point in your life, you will have a healthcare provider that is tattooed. And if you have a problem with that, first let me say that you are kind of a dick, suck it up. It’s a reality.

Tattooed people are no different than non-tattooed people except that they don’t care if you’re tattooed or not (I totally stole that from Anonymous).

Ink and the Fuzz

I try very hard not to judge someone based on their appearance.  When I catch myself doing it, I very firmly scold myself, and will sometimes rap myself across the knuckles with a ruler.

As much as I hate it, I know that, at times, I judge.  We all do.  I suppose that it is human nature.

But as we become a more culturally diverse society, our exposure to people that don’t look like us should make us more accepting.

From the time that we are young children, we are taught to not judge books by their covers.

It is not acceptable to judge people by the color of their skin.

Unless their skin is colored with ink.  Then it is perfectly acceptable to discriminate.

I can’t say that I’ve experienced any true discrimination, but people have perceptions about me that aren’t accurate.  The predominate perception is that women with tattoos are promiscuous.  I am not sure if that is a true belief, or just wishful thinking.  I am sure that there are promiscuous tattooed women out there…. I’d venture to guess that statistically, there are more promiscuous NON-tattooed women. There are good and bad people in every color, whether natural or inked.

Most every single asshole I’ve ever met, wasn’t tattooed.  All of my tattooed friends are super cool and laid back.  So what does that say about tattooed people? Nothing really, just that I am pretty good at choosing my friends.  But, that, could, in fact, say that tattooed people are good at choosing friends!!

But we can’t judge an entire population of people’s ability to choose friends based on my superior friend choosing skills, can we??

So all this thinking has led me to look into policies regarding tattoos, mainly  police policies.

 It seems that most of these agencies have rules and regulations regarding ink.  And as tattoos seem to become more popular, the ones without rules regarding ink, are drafting some.

There are numerous threads out there on the issue of police with tattoos.  I’ve seen many thoughtful responses.  Yet, many more ignorant closed minded ones.

Like this:

“Professional standards are slowly becoming a thing of the past. There was a time in this country when people employed in certain professions, didn’t have to be told to dress a certain way (they had class and common sense) and the people who looked like trash usually were. I don’t respect anyone who looks like a street thug. Sorry… and I know I’m not alone in that thought process.  I work in upper level management and I will not hire anyone who sports visible tattoos. They are a symbol of the lower class and vulgar.  Period.”

I feel sorry for this person’s employees….. I’m sure they are prejudice against more than tattooed people, with that attitude.

Since it is no longer acceptable to openly discriminate based on a person’s race, I believe that there are people out there that aren’t happy unless they can find someone to hate.  So guess what?? People that are tattooed or modified are the perfect target!
But back to police officers with tattoos…..
Many agencies are requiring that officers with tattoos that are visible in their uniforms, must cover them by wearing long sleeves or special arm socks to cover their tattoos.  And it doesn’t matter what their tattoos are.  They could be service related and it doesn’t matter.
While officers often wear long sleeved uniforms, this is not so good for an officer in Arizona in the middle of summer.  Seems like it would create a hostile working environment (for me, I hate to sweat) and throw on some body armor…. HOLY HELL.  It seems especially unfair for the officers who have been working, unsleeved prior to the new regulations.
I can see where this is a difficult topic for those in charge.  Some agencies only ban “offensive” tattoos or those with gang or hate affiliations.  Who is the ultimate judge in these matters?  Doesn’t that set them up for some liability?  No one wants that.  Take responsibility?? Fuck that!
I can totally understand not wanting an officer with a swastika on his neck, or gang symbols…. That would be counterproductive to keeping the peace.

Are a majority of people really intimidated by a police officer with a beautiful sleeve?  I mean, let’s face it, there are still people that are intimidated by an afro-American officer, and we don’t let their archaic way of thinking dictate police policy.  Why let them influence policy on tattooed police officers??

How do you feel about tattooed police officers?

Organs and Ink

On this fine Monday I am presenting Jeremy’s tattoos.
Jeremy is a 19yo suffering from Bronchiolitis obliterans organizing pneumonia (BOOP)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchiolitis_obliterans_organizing_pneumonia
Jeremy is in need of a double lung transplant.
So let me take a minute to go a little off-topic……
Folks, PLEASE BECOME AN ORGAN AND TISSUE DONOR!!
It doesn’t cost the donor or the donor’s family a cent, and one donor could potentially save 8 lives and vastly improve many others.
There are so many arguments against donation, that I hate to even give them any power by mentioning them, but I have to.
“I might need them in the afterlife” (yes I’ve heard this)  what kind of idiot uses this argument? A pussy.
We’ve all seen remains.  All the organs are still there, only rotted, turned to dust, mummified, etc.  So, guess what?? That argument is invalid. Shut your word hole.
“My God doesn’t approve”  uuummmm, dude……. YOUR God is an asshole.  YOUR God is against saving lives? WTF?  I surely wouldn’t follow a God that is such a jerk, if I were you I’d rethink my religious affiliations.
“They might not try hard enough to save me if they know I’m a donor”  this is so ridiculous that I hate that I even have to address it.  As a medical professional, I know that every possible treatment would be exhausted before one’s family is asked about organ donation.  There aren’t docs out there saying “I really don’t wanna deal with this patient anymore, let’s just harvest his organs.” Doesn’t happen.  If you believe this, you’ve watched too much television. So stop it.
I dig China’s method of dealing with the lack of organ donations in their country.  They harvest organs of prisoners slated to be executed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organ_harvesting_in_the_People%27s_Republic_of_China
They say that the prisoners must give informed consent.  I am a little skeptical about that particular aspect of the whole process, China isn’t exactly above board on things like this, but…….. I think that if you are scheduled to be executed, your rights are revoked.  I believe in a humane execution, but beyond that, the convict belongs to the state.  They’ve already been a burden to society, from legal costs, any medical care, to actual room and board.  They OWE their fellow man, this is the best way that they can repay their debt.
For accurate information on organ donation, please visit this website:
http://organdonor.gov/index.html
Now, back to Jeremy’s ink.
The first tattoo I’m showing you is a symbol for the marine corps that he got in homage of his grandfather, who is a 15 year stomach cancer survivor.  To Jeremy his grandfather is a symbol of encouragement as he does battle with his lung disease.

A classic Armed Forces tattoo, I love these types of tattoos.

Jeremy’s other two tattoos are of birds to honor his parents.  An owl for his mama and an eagle for his father, their favorite fowl.

Jeremy had his work done at One Shot Tattoo in Cincinnati http://www.oneshottattoo.net/  by Oliver, his portfolio can be found herehttp://www.oneshottattoo.net/portfolio.html.

Nice tattoos Jeremy, here’s hoping that you receive a set of lungs really soon!
I’m sending good vibes your way.
Hopefully someone will read this and decide to become an organ and tissue donor!
TrippyBeth is one!!!!

Tattoo Envy

Have you ever seen a tattoo that you just HAD TO HAVE?  While I don’t believe in copying a tattoo that BELONGS to someone else, a certain style can certainly be recreated without plagerizing the original piece.  Well, I have just had this experience.  I can’t get this tattoo off of my mind!

This week I have been pouring over portfolios of local artists.  To admire the work, check out local talent and look for artists to refer a friend to for some black and gray work. 

I’d venture to guess that the most famous local tattoo artist in the Northern KY/Cincinnati area is Dana http://www.danatattoo.com/home.php.  One of Dana’s shop locations is not far from my apartment, so I thought it would be prudent to check into the work done there a little more thoroughly.

All of the artists’ portfolios were impressive, but the one that stood out the most to me belonged to Steve (http://www.danatattoo.com/gallery.php?spgmGal=steve)

One tattoo in particular……… well it caused me to salivate, literally.

This tattoo is so fucking beautiful that I want one, NOW…..

I have read differing opinions on tattoos without outlines, a lot of opinion is that they don’t last as long and maybe don’t maintain their integrity.  So I posed the question to Steve in an email.

His response was this :” Thanks for the note. In outlined, color tattoos can be an option, but only if you know what the realities are. Depending on the size and density of the color field they can hold up,for some time, but all will eventually fade and need some maintenance. Color linework is too fragile and usually won’t hold up longer than a few years. My wife has some un-outlined Japanese maple leaves that are at least twenty years old and other than the yellows are still fairly viable. We’ll be re-coloring them in the not too distant future.”

That settles it for me, I will have one.  I mean, tattoo maintenance is a reality. From immediate post-tattoo cleansing and moisturizing (which you will get different instructions at every shop you go to), to sun protection, tattoos must be maintained just like any other piece of art. Even the frescos in the Sistine Chapel require attention.  Art is a living entity, whether a painting, sculpture or skin art, it’s ever evolving with time and environmental factors.

(Michelangelo had some mad skills, can you imagine the tattoos he could knock out?  I will not comment on the genitalia in this painting…… refraining……. No comment here….lips are sealed……… OH DAMMIT, seriously Mike, that is some teeny tiny junk, I hope that for your sake you weren’t basing that painting on yourself.  If you did, I’m really sorry dude)

 

The daylily pictured above, was done by the awe inspiring Kevin Byers http://tattooedtv.com/kevinbyers.html, of Truth and Triumph Tattoo in Dayton, OH http://tattooedtv.com/

I am in love with his adaptation of the photo I presented to him…… Kevin will absolutely do me again…… wait…… that sounded wrong didn’t it??

The photo that inspired the tattoo.

Kevin hard at work.

I think I’m feeling the need for some new ink this weekend… hopefully Kevin will be able to squeeze me in!!!