Abhorrent Attraction

I told you recently that I had rejoined the online dating world. At this point, I am not completely sure why.  I am chatting with a couple of guys, one seems WAY TOO EAGER to meet me, I’m not sure how to deal with this.  Am I just what he’s been looking for? OR… is he fucking crazy?  It’s impossible to know until you’ve met.  Am I going to meet him?  I’m not sure yet.

Last night, I get this message:

 Grandpa Sid wants me to sit on his lap…Shivers…

One of my friends (you know who you are) got WAAAAYYYY too much enjoyment out of this.

If you look closely at the photo, Grandpa Sid appears to have a hard-on… I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I also get this totally romantic message, from a child:

 I will never understand this methodology, maybe I’m just a prude??

Apparently my phone is feeling my pain, understanding my desire to get laid.  When updating my Facebook status using talk-to-text it mis-interpreted “bracken county”. Glad I checked it before I posted, my family would have really been impressed!!!

If I’m going to be honest, I am perpetually in “fucking horny”, no trip necessary!!

AND lastly, yesterday I went on a Scott Kelby Worldwide Photo Walk.  There was not one single guy in the group… Traditional dating, my fucking ass… I can NEVER meet anyone.

Anyway, here’s a post from the walk…http://reflectionsuponmyreality2.wordpress.com/2013/10/06/100-strangers-project-continued/

Thanks A Lot Universe

I think that the universe was fucking with me.

Something transpired with FG and a text message that I received that wasn’t meant for me.  One of my BFFs was also creeping on his Facebook and many of his posts seem angry.  I’m not a person that can deal with that and she knows it.  She texted me and asked if I had read his FB posts, I hadn’t (I’d make a terrible stalker), so I did.  The posts made me uncomfortable.

So, since I felt so hinky, I texted him and cancelled, I said that maybe we could reschedule for tomorrow, mainly to see what his response would be.  All that he replied was “yup”.

I think I’ll just drink wine and take antihistamines tonight.

Minister TrippyB

The biggest and really ONLY news that I have to report to you is that I am now…………….

Hold on……….

Wait for it…………

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

AN ORDAINED MINISTER!!!!!

Yep, dig it people!

Getting married? I’m your girl!!

Dead? Give me a call!

I already have one person interested in having me perform a wedding!

I think that I could be really good at this, this could be my calling!

I can’t wait until I receive my badge!!!

I have a Facebook friend, that I don’t even know how I became friends with him, but here’s his deal… He apparently has a teeny tiny pee-pee.

Not that I know, from actually seeing it in person, thank jeebus, but he’s told me. It’s like he’s weirdly obsessed with talking about having a tiny pee-pee. Which in itself is totally bizarre.

But yesterday, it gets dialed up to an entirely new level.

He messages me on Facebook and asks if I know how to remove a post from his wall.

So, being the sweet and helpful girl that I am, I tell him. Without asking any questions, NO QUESTIONS.

Then he, voluntarily, tells me that someone had posted something very embarrassing to his wall.

I don’t go look.

But he goes on to tell me that he can’t remove the photo, that it’s extremely embarrassing and he’s freaking.

So, at this point, I feel oblidged to go look.

FUCK, after looking I am extremely disappointed in myself for not DE-friending him a long time ago.

The photo posted to his wall is of a teeny, almost non-existent pee-pee, with a ruler by it. I have no idea what the point of the ruler was, not for bragging rights I can assure you. It was posted by a woman who made a comment about if he was going to cheat, he shouldn’t leave her photos etc… OUCH!

I report the photo to Facebook, and try to move on with my life.

Well, he has other ideas, and keeps asking me how the photo looks!! I tell him that I don’t feel comfortable discussing it and I can’t give him any advice, other than DENY, DENY, DENY!

People be crazy, yo…